"I Eff'ed up.': Mistakes in the Workplace
I feel like the WORST person in the world when I make a mistake at work.
In Corporate America, mistakes feel like atomic bombs....
...and I have dropped a few this week.
I wanted to be sure to write while I am actively in this emotion so I can share this story vividly. I work for a finance company as a Brand Manager, meaning any communication with the public from the firm is created or comes through me. On this day I was sick so I stayed home and worked. I have the pleasure of working from home, remotely, if I am not feeling well. One of my tasks I do on Fridays is to schedule networking coffees for my boss for the following week and up until this point the day was moving like any other normal coffee scheduling day.
UNTIL I GOT A PHONE CALL.
It was my boss. "Um Christian, you emailed the wrong person. Now I have two coffees with two different people at the same place, at the same time."
Oh.
My.
God.
So I sat there for a minute...
"What should I say?...."
.....
.......I deflected.
"Well sir, I was taught that we need to go through our CRM to schdule the networking meetings and when I saw j** in the system I automatically assumed...."
.
....Now I just sound STUPID.
He responds, "Okay, I apologize for not adding the correct person to the CRM, but that does not change the fact that I now have 2 meetings for next Tuesday."
I had to fess up.
-"You're right sir. I am sorry. I should have been paying more attention. Won't happen again."
-"Thanks Christian, I will handle this coffee's scheduling from here, talk to you later."
-"Bye."
-"Bye."
How did you let this happen, bro. This is a rookie mistake. You're way to grown for these games.
WHY CHRISTIAN WHY!!?
Youre already the only young minority at the firm...you want them to think your'e stupid and that's all they can expect from a young black woman in business?!?!
You finna get FIRED.
I thought of the most self-defeating things to say to myself. FAILING to realize that this was necessary.
A simple, mix-up or any mistake similar to it was beyond necessary for my growth as a business woman and AS AN ADULT. Yes, I deflected and tried to defend, but my boss tested my integrity to see where I was as a mature adult AND as a Christian (p.s. I work for a Christian Financial Planning firm).
I passed....but PAINFULLY.
So now I'm here...
In my house...
By myself...
SAD...
I hold myself so high to this standard, 1. Because I AM A YOUNG BLACK WOMAN IN CORPORATE AMERICA ( that's reason enough) 2. Because I am a perfectionist, trying to perfect a world that will NEVER come close to that ( sounds insane right).
I had to give myself a break. The bible says "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." So this (not so big) HUGE mix-up is meant for my purpose? Every crushed face, every sweaty arm pit, every nervous bubble in my stomach is a part of God's plan for my destiny?
Comments